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I always support a responsible splurge and I’m a proud member of Team Treat Yourself, but this year I watched in horror as not one but TWO television characters launched themselves into soul-crushing debt so they could buy obscenely expensive handbags.

Personally? Not once in my 29 years of life have I aspired to purchase a handbag that costs more than say, a car. That scene in Season 6 of Gilmore Girls when Logan gives Rory a Birkin bag, she obliviously says “oh cool, a bag!” and tells him it will fit her computer cords nicely is me in a nutshell. If you’re a designer handbag aficionado, that’s perfectly fine! They’re just not for me — partially because I don’t use purses often, but mostly because I’d never stop thinking of all the other ways I could have spent that money.

There’s a saying that two is a coincidence and three is a trend, so before TV writers dare make this a trend I’m here to issue a Pricey Purse PSA: if we learn anything from WeCrashed and I Love That For You, it’s “don’t buy that pricey bag!”

The first fashion-related financial faux paux came in WeCrashed, Apple TV+’s limited series about the couple at the heart of WeWork’s rise and fall: co-founder Adam Neumann (Jared Leto) and his wife Rebekah (Anne Hathaway). In chronicling the company’s ascent to a $47 billion valuation and the disastrous IPO filing that nearly took it down, WeCrashed occasionally checks in with an employee named Chloe Morgan (Cricket Brown), who joined in 2012.

When Adam decides to finally take the company public, Chloe and a group of colleagues fantasize about how they’re going to spend their first million. Chloe initially says she wants to use her WeWork money to pay off her student loans, but after some encouragement (Note: Peer pressure!) from co-workers, she sets her sights on a leather Hermes Birkin bag that costs more than $23,000. If you’re stressed right now, you should be!

Drunk on tequila and ready to make poor choices, Chloe admires the bag on her phone while her alleged pals repeatedly chant, “DO IT!”

“It’s more than I made last year after taxes,” she says, clearly aware that $23,000 is no small sum. “Yeah, but we didn’t IPO last year, dude,” her colleague replies. In his minor defense, he does have a point. WeWork employees were expecting to receive hefty payouts from that IPO, but when Adam misrepresented about the company’s financial success and royally fucked up WeWork’s I-9 form, everything fell apart. During a late night at the office after some serious contemplation, Chloe ignores her instincts and buys the bag, pre-IPO approval. Big mistake. Huge! But more on that later.

A month after Chloe chaotically cashed out her cart, I Love That for You‘s Darcy Leeds (Matt Rogers) found himself similarly tempted by a handbag. The great Olivia Rodrigo once asked, “Do you get déjà vu, huh?” And in when it comes to pricey purse plot lines my answer is unequivocally: YES.

Here’s what happens with Darcy. His boss Patricia (Jenifer Lewis) buys herself a $15,000 Saint Laurent bag as a reward for surviving “a five-hour dinner with Bloomberg.” He acquaints himself with the bag, as soft as a beautiful, buttery croissant, and after a particularly bad day considers buying one of his own. Darcy stays late at the office, puts his feet up on Patricia’s desk, and smokes some weed while gazing at the bag’s listing on his laptop. He grabs Patricia’s credit card and genuinely considers charging the bag to his boss (!?), only to slam the laptop shut after a moment of clarity. Is anyone else sweating? Same. Don’t stop.

In the following episode, Darcy pulls a Chloe and impulsively drops dollars on that gorgeous leather pocketbook. He’s thrilled when it arrives and even holds a modeling sesh in front of the mirror. But minutes later, when Patricia calls him into her office and gifts him the very same bag he just bought, he throws up from regret.

Y’all, WHAT were you doing? You both knew better than to buy those bags. You gave the decisions serious thought and carefully weighed the financial impacts only to pop off and empty your bank accounts in moments of weakness? No! Characters, stop online shopping at your workplace after hours and making rash, destructive decisions instead of like, giving therapy a try. And TV writers, two emotional pricey purse roller coasters were enough for my fragile nervous system to bear. Find another vehicle for conflict. I’m begging you.

In the WeCrashed finale, WeWork’s grim financial reality comes to light and we learn that Chloe lost $5,000 after selling her bag to a woman on the Upper East Side. And after several stressful hours spent pleading with French-speaking Saint Laurent service reps, Darcy is luckily able to return his bag for a refund. But if this wasn’t TV, things could have turned out way, way worse.

Normally “securing the bag” is a positive thing, but when the literal bag costs more than your annual salary, I urge you to learn from Chloe and Darcy’s mistakes and empty that cart. You can buy the wildly expensive handbag if you really want, but please make sure the purchase isn’t going to ruin your life before you click “Buy.”

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